Bravely bold Tiffani
Walked forth from the Mercure.
She was not afraid to see,
Oh Brave Tiffani,
She was not afraid
To be Schooled in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Tiffani
She was not in the least bit scared
to be exposed to porn
or to have her eyes bludge out,
and her honor broken.
to have her money split,
and her retina burned away
to have her innocence hacked and mangled
Brave Tiffani
To see sex shops in
and see boobs fall out
to see clothes removed
and see butts unplugged
to see submissives raped
and to see guys jacked off
to see dildo-
"That's enough for now! There's red lights ahead..."
*After bolting from the street*
Brave Tiffani ran away
"No!"
Bravely ran away, away!
"I didn't!"
When naked reared its ugly head,
She bravely turned her tail and fled.
"No!"
Yes Brave Tiffani turned about,
"I didn't!"
And gallantly she chickened out.
Bravely taking to her feet
"I never did that!"
She beat a very brave retreat.
"All lies!"
Bravest of the Braaaaave!
"I never!"
*Obviously this is a spoof from Monty Python's song about Brave Sir Robin. So just read it to the tune of that.
Here are the original lyrics
Here you can view the video of the original from Monty Python and the search for the Holy Grail.
Also, the sad part is, in my last blog, I wrote about promptly running away... it's pretty much true. I got about three or four steps out onto the street and turned and literally bolted back into the alley where I stood there giggling for a good three or four minutes. Heh.
Showing posts with label The Netherlands. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Netherlands. Show all posts
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Adventures in Euroland: Day 11
Amsterdam - better in the morning? Not by much...
I think due to our sheer amout of disappointment with our initial impression of Amsterdam yesterday Nick and I did not bother leaving the hotel until about noon today.
Amsterdam does not look much better in the sunlight. We meandered around trying to decide which museum to check out. I think our indecisiveness stemmed from being worried about having such another negative experience. We stumbled upon a canal tour, which we thought would be pretty safe, so we decided to take that.
It wasn't too bad. It was about an hour, and the boat was pretty cool. It was long and flat and had a glass roof on it so you could see all the buildings. Amsterdam is all built on wood planks and the city is slowly sinking, like Venice. The buildings lean all different directions in some places, I will have to add pictures later.
To be honest, I spent most of the tour watching a little kid on the boat terrorize the people he was with. Some super grungey lookig guy and his wife/girlfriend/mistress. He was wearing a wedding ring and she was definitely not. The kid was throwing his soda can all over and at one point bit the lady's finger. She screamed really loud and then sat in her seat and cried. The kid didn't even get scolded. The guy was like, "are you gonna say you are sorry?" and the kid laughed and spit out a chunk of her fake nail. GROSS.
After that Nick and I saw the flower market, which was really cool actually. It was like three or four blocks of flower venders. They had all kinds of plants, every type you can think of. I saw lots of cacti and thought of dad. There were sooo many different kinds I think he would have wanted to buy them all. I also saw Bonsai trees and tulips and all kinds flowers, some orchids, and venus fly traps, lots of bulbs for every type of flower, all sorts of starter kits, including a grow your own cannabis kit.
We had lunch, the food here is not as good as Germany. Not by any stretch.
We also walked around and found a local market with lots of street vendors. Some of the stuff they were selling was really cool. I liked one stall in particular which sold some really neat clothing. They had the coolest hoodies and jackets I have ever seen in my LIFE. If I had not already gotten my Swatch I would have bought a jacket hands down. But I did get their website for future purposes. In case anyone is interested... here are the jackets we saw. I thought they were AMAZING. I really liked the ones by Gado Gado. SUCH cool clothing.
We headed back to the hotel to rest for a bit, since we walked all over the place. It was about 4, so we'd been walking for about 4 hours or so, minus half an hour for lunch.
One thing to note is that Amsterdam is FULL of bikes. I'm positive bikes outnumber cars at least three to one. So people are used to getting around by bike, on foot, or on the bus/trolly. So things are very crowded as I mentioned in my last post. Plus you have to watch out for tons of bicyclers. Dad, you would HATE it here just because of THAT alone.
Ladies of the night...
Anyway, after a few hours of down time we headed back out in search of food. Nick looked up this asian place that was supposed to be really good. So we headed in that direction. When we stopped to look at a map for directions, the inevitable happened: we realized our restaurant was precariously close to the Red Light district.
We kinda looked at each other... and back at the map, then back at each other.
Morbid curiosity won over.
The decision was made.
The place we wanted to eat had an hour wait so we put our name in for a table and headed one block to the north. As soon as we set foot in the next street over we were greeted with red lights and neon in the shape of busty women.
I promptly ran away.
I stood in the little alley between main streets and giggled like an idiot for a while. I told Nick maybe we should just cross the street, and not walk along the red light district, just to be safe. So we could kind of test the water, as it were. He agreed. So we bravely ventured out from our alley into the Red Light District. And right on through to the other side.
It wasn't that bad. We could see lots of sex toy shops all along the streets, neon sigs of naked women, bars, and LOTS of red lights. The red light district is literally FULL of red lights. Even the street lamps have red bulbs in them.
We went across and over to the next street, which was relatively safe. We went down another block and decided to cross back over through the red light district to the street our restaurant was on. Upon doing so we saw a sex theatre and in the alley there are lots of windows with real live girls standing in them in their lingerie solicing to people. Almost all of them were smoking.
I didn't really see a lot. I was staring with great intensity at the back of the person-ahead-of-me's back. So most of what I saw I saw out of the corner of my eyes. Don't judge me dear reader, I was curious, but intensely freaked out. I wanted to go back again, just for the sake of this blog, but I couldn't do it. Dad, please don't be too disappointed in me, I went to the red light district, I just can't tell you much about it. :p
Nick and I opted to wander in another direction instead, the whole time Nick was teasing me about getting me a lap dance, you know, for the sake of my blog. Jerk. To be fair, I did ask him if he thought they took women clients as well as men, and he said we could go back and ask one. To which of course I freaked out. It's my own fault really. I'm too easy to pick on. : /
ANYWAY. He was just being silly, because we were both sort of embarassed about the whole thing and I think we both respond to awkwardness with humor. It really isn't too different from Vegas I suppose, except they are probably more open about it here.
On a slightly unrelated but just as humorous note, there is a GIANT church right at the end of the red light district. Somehow, neither Nick nor I were surprised by this fact.
That sums it up.
The food was terrible, sadly, and we returned to the hotel feeling more or less bemused but ready to go home. I'm not sure what we are going to do tomorrow but I can honestly say I am ready to come back to the states. I do not care for Amsterdam much although it has been an intersting experience to say the least.
Who knows what we'll end up doing tomorrow, but the day after I will fly home, so that is great news to me. I flew coach on the way to Europe and I am just going to check into upgrading to first class for the flight home. I expect it to be several thousand dollars or more points than I have to upgrade but I want to at least ask. Coach for 8 hours blows, but at least I will have a window seat this time.
P.S. I have also decided to write the Ballad of Tiffani Visits the Red Light District, it would be similar to Monty Python's song about Brave Sir Robin Bravely Running away. Some possible lines include:
"When Naked reared its ugly, tiffani bravely turned her tail and fled,
Yes Tiffani turned about and gallantly she chickened out."
http://tiffanitravelblog.blogspot.com/2012/01/adventures-in-euroland-ballad-of.html
I think due to our sheer amout of disappointment with our initial impression of Amsterdam yesterday Nick and I did not bother leaving the hotel until about noon today.
Amsterdam does not look much better in the sunlight. We meandered around trying to decide which museum to check out. I think our indecisiveness stemmed from being worried about having such another negative experience. We stumbled upon a canal tour, which we thought would be pretty safe, so we decided to take that.
It wasn't too bad. It was about an hour, and the boat was pretty cool. It was long and flat and had a glass roof on it so you could see all the buildings. Amsterdam is all built on wood planks and the city is slowly sinking, like Venice. The buildings lean all different directions in some places, I will have to add pictures later.
To be honest, I spent most of the tour watching a little kid on the boat terrorize the people he was with. Some super grungey lookig guy and his wife/girlfriend/mistress. He was wearing a wedding ring and she was definitely not. The kid was throwing his soda can all over and at one point bit the lady's finger. She screamed really loud and then sat in her seat and cried. The kid didn't even get scolded. The guy was like, "are you gonna say you are sorry?" and the kid laughed and spit out a chunk of her fake nail. GROSS.
After that Nick and I saw the flower market, which was really cool actually. It was like three or four blocks of flower venders. They had all kinds of plants, every type you can think of. I saw lots of cacti and thought of dad. There were sooo many different kinds I think he would have wanted to buy them all. I also saw Bonsai trees and tulips and all kinds flowers, some orchids, and venus fly traps, lots of bulbs for every type of flower, all sorts of starter kits, including a grow your own cannabis kit.
We had lunch, the food here is not as good as Germany. Not by any stretch.
We also walked around and found a local market with lots of street vendors. Some of the stuff they were selling was really cool. I liked one stall in particular which sold some really neat clothing. They had the coolest hoodies and jackets I have ever seen in my LIFE. If I had not already gotten my Swatch I would have bought a jacket hands down. But I did get their website for future purposes. In case anyone is interested... here are the jackets we saw. I thought they were AMAZING. I really liked the ones by Gado Gado. SUCH cool clothing.
We headed back to the hotel to rest for a bit, since we walked all over the place. It was about 4, so we'd been walking for about 4 hours or so, minus half an hour for lunch.
One thing to note is that Amsterdam is FULL of bikes. I'm positive bikes outnumber cars at least three to one. So people are used to getting around by bike, on foot, or on the bus/trolly. So things are very crowded as I mentioned in my last post. Plus you have to watch out for tons of bicyclers. Dad, you would HATE it here just because of THAT alone.
Ladies of the night...
Anyway, after a few hours of down time we headed back out in search of food. Nick looked up this asian place that was supposed to be really good. So we headed in that direction. When we stopped to look at a map for directions, the inevitable happened: we realized our restaurant was precariously close to the Red Light district.
We kinda looked at each other... and back at the map, then back at each other.
Morbid curiosity won over.
The decision was made.
The place we wanted to eat had an hour wait so we put our name in for a table and headed one block to the north. As soon as we set foot in the next street over we were greeted with red lights and neon in the shape of busty women.
I promptly ran away.
I stood in the little alley between main streets and giggled like an idiot for a while. I told Nick maybe we should just cross the street, and not walk along the red light district, just to be safe. So we could kind of test the water, as it were. He agreed. So we bravely ventured out from our alley into the Red Light District. And right on through to the other side.
It wasn't that bad. We could see lots of sex toy shops all along the streets, neon sigs of naked women, bars, and LOTS of red lights. The red light district is literally FULL of red lights. Even the street lamps have red bulbs in them.
We went across and over to the next street, which was relatively safe. We went down another block and decided to cross back over through the red light district to the street our restaurant was on. Upon doing so we saw a sex theatre and in the alley there are lots of windows with real live girls standing in them in their lingerie solicing to people. Almost all of them were smoking.
I didn't really see a lot. I was staring with great intensity at the back of the person-ahead-of-me's back. So most of what I saw I saw out of the corner of my eyes. Don't judge me dear reader, I was curious, but intensely freaked out. I wanted to go back again, just for the sake of this blog, but I couldn't do it. Dad, please don't be too disappointed in me, I went to the red light district, I just can't tell you much about it. :p
Nick and I opted to wander in another direction instead, the whole time Nick was teasing me about getting me a lap dance, you know, for the sake of my blog. Jerk. To be fair, I did ask him if he thought they took women clients as well as men, and he said we could go back and ask one. To which of course I freaked out. It's my own fault really. I'm too easy to pick on. : /
ANYWAY. He was just being silly, because we were both sort of embarassed about the whole thing and I think we both respond to awkwardness with humor. It really isn't too different from Vegas I suppose, except they are probably more open about it here.
On a slightly unrelated but just as humorous note, there is a GIANT church right at the end of the red light district. Somehow, neither Nick nor I were surprised by this fact.
That sums it up.
The food was terrible, sadly, and we returned to the hotel feeling more or less bemused but ready to go home. I'm not sure what we are going to do tomorrow but I can honestly say I am ready to come back to the states. I do not care for Amsterdam much although it has been an intersting experience to say the least.
Who knows what we'll end up doing tomorrow, but the day after I will fly home, so that is great news to me. I flew coach on the way to Europe and I am just going to check into upgrading to first class for the flight home. I expect it to be several thousand dollars or more points than I have to upgrade but I want to at least ask. Coach for 8 hours blows, but at least I will have a window seat this time.
P.S. I have also decided to write the Ballad of Tiffani Visits the Red Light District, it would be similar to Monty Python's song about Brave Sir Robin Bravely Running away. Some possible lines include:
"When Naked reared its ugly, tiffani bravely turned her tail and fled,
Yes Tiffani turned about and gallantly she chickened out."
http://tiffanitravelblog.blogspot.com/2012/01/adventures-in-euroland-ballad-of.html
Friday, January 27, 2012
Adventures in Euroland: Day 10
Thoughts upon leaving Berlin:
Germany was, all in all, a really great experience. I think the Germans were, in general from what I experienced, a very private/quiet people, but also a polite and friendly people. Especially when they warm up to you a little bit. They seem to take care of and respect their history and their culture and I would not mind returning to Germany again. Although I would like to know more of the language first.
My Grammy asked me if she could see a lot of influence from the German culture in our [the American] culture. I really wasn't sure how to answer at first. I think it is a curiosity particular to my family especially since our last name is Sprague and as far as we have been able to trace, our heritage is mostly German with a smattering of other cultures thrown in.
I have given it some thought, and I do not see a lot of German influence in the American culture. At least not the part of the country we live in. (Colorado, which would be the Midwest part of the country)
I THINK, due to my limited exposure to living in other parts of the country, that one might find the most amount of German influence in the Northern part of the country, particularly North East. I think, based on what Mom has told me about growing up in Wisconson, that places like that have more German/Scandinavian type influences then other parts. I think the way they dress, social gatherings with close friends and family to play card games and drink beer, cheese and sausage being very common foods, etc.
On my trip to Nashville I met a writer name Phil. He told the Extroverted Norwegian joke. It goes like this:
How can you tell when you are talking to an extroverted Norwegian?
I dunno, how?
He's staring at YOUR shoes.
This is kind of the vibe I get from the people of Northern Germany, although not that extreme certainly. And again, this is only my perception, which is colored by my ideas, attitudes, and experiences.
Grammy, I hope that answers your question. That was a difficult question and our Country is SO large compared to the countries in Europe it is difficult for me to answer acurately having only really lived in the Midwest.
Initial Impressions of Amsterdam:
Upon arriving in Amsterdam and getting a taxi to our hotel, and seeing the rooms, Nick and I were pretty appauled. It is essentialy like being in a closet.
Nick was pretty pissed off because it cost more than the hotel in Berlin and the rooms were a third the size. MAYBE a fourth. So we went out for dinner so he could cool off.
And we were met with more shock and appaul.
Amsterdam, at least the part of the town we are staying in, is DIRTY. I'm not talking like, dirty minded, which it is also that, but I mean the town is filthy. There is trash EVERYWHERE, the side walks are dirty, there is gum all over the ground, there are cigarette butts everywhere, the buildings and windows are dirty, EVERYTHING is covered in grime. The place we ate at, was dirty inside too.
We passed pot stores, and hooka bars, and alcohols shops, and all kinds of stuff. There are lots of people out in the evening, and the streets and sidewalks are very crowded. Everything is very narrow due to all the canals, and people have a very small personal bubble here. (Americans actually have the largest of any culture. On average we prefer to stand or be at least six feet away from each other when we talk to people.) They have no problems bumping into you when they walk by. They are louder and on the whole less considerate seeming and polite than the people we saw in Berlin.
The people here in Amsterdam just give off a vibe that says "I don't give a fuck."
It is very hard to explain, but the initial impression Nick and I got is that this would be what the wold would be like if it were run by pot heads and the spoiled children of wealthy people who are used to getting whatever they want, getting away with anything, and who don't care about anything.
Obviously people come to Amsterdam for Drugs and Sex. But we really had no idea that downtown was so trashy.
I feel bad writing these things because I am sure there are lots of decent and hard working people who live here, I just have yet to meet any of them. No one we have come across seems overly eager or ambitious or friendly. I'm sure people here are also very friendly, but I think perhaps Nick and I come across as stuffy and contemptous, which compared to these people we probably are.
It's hard not to be when the prevading atmosphere is one that comes across as the people being very lazy and unindustrious. (is that even a word?)
Anyway, suffice it to say that neither Nick or I are impressed with Amsterdam AT ALL. I feel lonely, shocked, upset, lost, disgusted, afraid, weirded out, and ready to go home. I think this is probably what true culture shock feels like. I just do not understand this place at all. Maybe things will look better in the sunlight tomorrow...
Germany was, all in all, a really great experience. I think the Germans were, in general from what I experienced, a very private/quiet people, but also a polite and friendly people. Especially when they warm up to you a little bit. They seem to take care of and respect their history and their culture and I would not mind returning to Germany again. Although I would like to know more of the language first.
My Grammy asked me if she could see a lot of influence from the German culture in our [the American] culture. I really wasn't sure how to answer at first. I think it is a curiosity particular to my family especially since our last name is Sprague and as far as we have been able to trace, our heritage is mostly German with a smattering of other cultures thrown in.
I have given it some thought, and I do not see a lot of German influence in the American culture. At least not the part of the country we live in. (Colorado, which would be the Midwest part of the country)
I THINK, due to my limited exposure to living in other parts of the country, that one might find the most amount of German influence in the Northern part of the country, particularly North East. I think, based on what Mom has told me about growing up in Wisconson, that places like that have more German/Scandinavian type influences then other parts. I think the way they dress, social gatherings with close friends and family to play card games and drink beer, cheese and sausage being very common foods, etc.
On my trip to Nashville I met a writer name Phil. He told the Extroverted Norwegian joke. It goes like this:
How can you tell when you are talking to an extroverted Norwegian?
I dunno, how?
He's staring at YOUR shoes.
This is kind of the vibe I get from the people of Northern Germany, although not that extreme certainly. And again, this is only my perception, which is colored by my ideas, attitudes, and experiences.
Grammy, I hope that answers your question. That was a difficult question and our Country is SO large compared to the countries in Europe it is difficult for me to answer acurately having only really lived in the Midwest.
Initial Impressions of Amsterdam:
Upon arriving in Amsterdam and getting a taxi to our hotel, and seeing the rooms, Nick and I were pretty appauled. It is essentialy like being in a closet.
Nick was pretty pissed off because it cost more than the hotel in Berlin and the rooms were a third the size. MAYBE a fourth. So we went out for dinner so he could cool off.
And we were met with more shock and appaul.
Amsterdam, at least the part of the town we are staying in, is DIRTY. I'm not talking like, dirty minded, which it is also that, but I mean the town is filthy. There is trash EVERYWHERE, the side walks are dirty, there is gum all over the ground, there are cigarette butts everywhere, the buildings and windows are dirty, EVERYTHING is covered in grime. The place we ate at, was dirty inside too.
We passed pot stores, and hooka bars, and alcohols shops, and all kinds of stuff. There are lots of people out in the evening, and the streets and sidewalks are very crowded. Everything is very narrow due to all the canals, and people have a very small personal bubble here. (Americans actually have the largest of any culture. On average we prefer to stand or be at least six feet away from each other when we talk to people.) They have no problems bumping into you when they walk by. They are louder and on the whole less considerate seeming and polite than the people we saw in Berlin.
The people here in Amsterdam just give off a vibe that says "I don't give a fuck."
It is very hard to explain, but the initial impression Nick and I got is that this would be what the wold would be like if it were run by pot heads and the spoiled children of wealthy people who are used to getting whatever they want, getting away with anything, and who don't care about anything.
Obviously people come to Amsterdam for Drugs and Sex. But we really had no idea that downtown was so trashy.
I feel bad writing these things because I am sure there are lots of decent and hard working people who live here, I just have yet to meet any of them. No one we have come across seems overly eager or ambitious or friendly. I'm sure people here are also very friendly, but I think perhaps Nick and I come across as stuffy and contemptous, which compared to these people we probably are.
It's hard not to be when the prevading atmosphere is one that comes across as the people being very lazy and unindustrious. (is that even a word?)
Anyway, suffice it to say that neither Nick or I are impressed with Amsterdam AT ALL. I feel lonely, shocked, upset, lost, disgusted, afraid, weirded out, and ready to go home. I think this is probably what true culture shock feels like. I just do not understand this place at all. Maybe things will look better in the sunlight tomorrow...
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